


existence is a vague thing

by revoleotion



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Temporary Character Death, The Author Regrets Nothing, like a dame, probably, this is not how obey me lore works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28712100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: Someone screamed - it might have been Asmodeus himself - but there was nobody there to hear, no universe left for him to scream in. His lungs were filled with ashes and pain. He had never felt this fragile, this mortal. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears and his dying breaths. Was he dying? Was it possible to die, to even exist, if you were the only person left in the world?___Based on the current "Like a Dame" event but much, much worse.
Relationships: Asmodeus/Solomon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Barbatos & Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	existence is a vague thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheGoldenGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoldenGirl/gifts).



> I took some liberties and changed canon in this because a) I didn't want to transcript the entire dialogue and b) I wanted maximum angst.  
> Also, we deserve to have Barbatos in a dress, thank you. 
> 
> I put the warning in the tags already but I will repeat myself. This one is heavy. It's also really confusing so please ask if I made it too weird.

The sound of the second explosion seemed to rip Asmodeus’ ears apart. His face, his entire body, felt numb but his legs still dragged him forward. His expensive dress was covered in dust and one of his heels had broken off when he started running. Asmodeus stopped for a second to kick off the now useless shoes but was yanked by his arm before he could fully come to halt. 

Right before he heard the third explosion, Asmodeus convinced himself that he was used to it. He wasn’t. It was worse than the first two ones, closer, and it sent him tumbling. His brothers’ words were useless static in his ears. Asmodeus almost wanted to fall because this meant he didn’t have to get up again. But the hand continued pulling his arm and even though Asmodeus’ ears refused to listen, he felt safe, despite everything. 

His lungs could only carry his body so far. By the time Lucifer had commanded him to find whoever was responsible for this, Asmodeus was fully convinced that he was going to drop dead if he ever allowed his body to rest. Not even during his worst diets had he been this cruel to himself. But he couldn’t stop. The person dragging him had turned out to be Solomon, Asmodeus was willing to follow him anywhere. 

“I saw someone running into that direction. Are you okay?”

Asmodeus’ lungs didn’t let him reply. He nodded and almost crashed right into the human when Solomon stopped running. 

“Get down,” he suddenly said, with an urgency to it that Asmodeus had never heard from him before. Asmodeus looked at the human he loved, he had loved for a long time and would never stop loving, and he knew what was about to happen. 

They were face to face with whoever was responsible for all this and when the air got ripped apart for the fourth time, Asmodeus dragged Solomon down and tried to shield as much of him as he could. 

Someone screamed - it might have been Asmodeus himself - but there was nobody there to hear, no universe left for him to scream in. His lungs were filled with ashes and pain. He had never felt this fragile, this mortal. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears and his dying breaths. Was he dying? Was it possible to die, to even exist, if you were the only person left in the world?

But then Solomon moved underneath him, fragile, human Solomon, and Asmodeus realized that they were trapped. 

“Asmodeus,” Solomon said. “Asmodeus.”

“I’m here,” he forced out. The words didn’t leave his lips on their own, they brought blood with them. Asmodeus coughed and forced it back down. 

“Can you hear me, Asmodeus?”

He kept saying his name, despite the dust in the air, despite the immovable ruins around them. Asmodeus took it in like some sort of drug. He couldn’t float away, he couldn’t be lonely with Solomon calling his name. 

He was real. He was alive. 

“I’m fine,” he said. Solomon laughed and Asmodeus felt him shift next to him. 

Next to him?

Had he lost time? Asmodeus wished he could see. He couldn’t - but he wasn’t sure when that had happened. Were they really trapped? Who had stolen the light?

“What do you remember, Asmodeus?”

“We are trapped, the explosion, I shielded you, we… why can’t I see?” He almost screamed the last question, with lung-rupturing, painful effort. 

“It’s fine. You’ll be fine. You saved me.”

He was falling. His useless body was still on the ground but his mind was falling, spiraling, losing itself. Solomon held him when he started crying. He didn’t know if the stains on Solomon were tears or blood but every inch of the human’s body was damp. Asmodeus couldn’t tell if Solomon was hurt. He wasn’t sure about himself either. 

He lost more time. 

He woke up to Solomon calling his name but couldn’t remember falling asleep. He woke up in the middle of a sentence he was saying with no idea how to finish it. He remembered looking for his D.D.D. and his hand itching with shards of glass. He didn’t hear much, only his name and some words that may be in a language he used to know. 

He was so tired. He had always loved himself more than anyone, anything else, but Asmodeus was starting to think that this had been a lie. He had never been kind to his body. This was just proof. 

If he had been better, if he had been faster…

“I got you.”

The voice was clear, clearer than anything else had been. Asmodeus still couldn’t see but he knew that they were saved. 

“You have to let go of him now, Solomon,” the voice said. 

_“No.”_

Asmodeus had never heard that amount of emotion in Solomon’s voice before. 

“If I let go of him, he’ll… he’ll be gone forever.”

“Do you trust me?” the voice asked. 

Solomon made a noise Asmodeus couldn’t place until he realized Solomon was crying. 

“Solomon, do you trust me?”

A deep breath. 

“I do.”

The warmth disappeared. The universe disappeared. Asmodeus disappeared. 

* * *

  
  


Barbatos in a dress and in make-up was, there was no other way to say it, angelic. His wig was long and his dress framed a body that Asmodeus still wasn’t over yet. He smiled but something was off, something that had never been there before. 

“I can’t believe you look even better as a Dame than Lucifer does!” Asmodeus said to break the silence. It wasn’t a lie, though. Barbatos looked good, despite the weird expression in his eyes. 

Whatever it was, it disappeared a second later. Barbatos seemed tired, Asmodeus noticed, not the overworked kind he had seen in Lucifer so many times, rather the existential exhaustion of a man who had just rewritten the universe. 

“Thank you,” Barbatos said politely. Then he blinked, like he had to get adjusted to the room, his hand reaching for something to support himself with. 

Asmodeus knew what was going to happen even before it could actually play out in front of him. 

“It’s a waste, really,” Asmodeus told Solomon. It had been his first instinct to call his boyfriend, after all, Barbatos was his _pact-mate._

Even though Barbatos insisted he was fine, Solomon insisted on staying with him. Which had put Asmodeus into that awkward spot where he had to choose between chasing down a witch who was - according to Barbatos - going to attempt to murder them or staying with Solomon and Barbatos inside the Castle. What a difficult decision, really. 

“So, that explains why you don’t use your powers that often,” Solomon said. “We can’t have you fainting every time.”

“It did look elegant, I will say as much. Very in character,” Asmodeus commented when something ugly flickered over Barbatos’ expression. Not long enough to interpret but long enough to tell Asmodeus that he did not enjoy talking about this. 

“Please don’t worry about me,” Barbatos said. 

“Who says I worry? This is all research. Science, if you will,” Solomon said. But he smiled while he said it. After something that felt like an eternity, Barbatos carefully smiled back. 

“Alright, I think one of you should kiss me as long as I’m still wearing the lipstick,” Asmodeus said. 

Barbatos raised an eyebrow and looked over to Solomon. 

Solomon’s smile felt like the only truly real thing in the universe. 

* * *

“Is there anything else you need?” Diavolo asked. Barbatos shook his head and rested his head on the demonʼs shoulder. The couch seemed even more comfortable than usual, the Star Wars television show that they were working through at the moment had been reduced to a background noise. They weren’t actually watching. This was just an excuse Diavolo used to get Barbatos to sit down. He had even conjured a weighted blanket from who-knew-where after Barbatos had mentioned how much he liked it. (“That’s the first time I actually _know_ what to gift you!”)

“Are you going to tell me who died?” Diavolo pressed on. Barbatos knew better than to assume that the emotion in his voice was anger. There was a difference between anger and disappointment - and Barbatos wouldn’t even go as far as saying that Diavolo was disappointed. If anything, he was sad that it had come to this once again. 

“I’m sorry I did not ask for your permission, My Lord,” Barbatos said. 

Diavolo’s shoulder trembled and when Barbatos lifted his head to look at him, he saw that the demon prince had closed his eyes and tried to get his shaky breaths under control. Barbatos disliked being perceived on a good day but something he disliked even more was worry. 

“Do you know why I don’t want you to use your powers, Barbatos?”

The obvious answer died on Barbatos tongue when he realized this couldn’t be the answer his Lord had in mind. It had to be easy enough, judging by his tone, but Barbatos couldn’t come up with anything. 

“It’s dangerous,” he finally said. “It’s easy to make a mistake.”

Diavolo shook his head. Barbatos felt like he was in school again - had he ever been in school? He must have. He must’ve been young once. 

“You don’t know,” Diavolo said. It wasn’t a question. It was a realization and it burned deep into his features when he looked at Barbatos. 

He couldn’t reply, even if he found the words to do so. 

“It’s exhausting for you, isn’t it? It has an effect on you.”

It was pointless to lie and Barbatos wouldn’t dare doing it in the first place. He nodded. 

“There you have it,” Diavolo said, like he had just explained something very well. 

“I’m afraid I can’t follow you, My Lord,” Barbatos said. “It’s my job to protect you and the ones around you. Even if it kills me.”

“No, it’s _not.”_ This was anger, at last. Diavolo shifted on the couch until his entire body was facing Barbatos. “That’s my point. It’s not your duty to die for me! Or any of the brothers!”

They had fought before but never like this. This wasn’t a discussion about Diavolo being jealous of the others who got to visit the human world. This wasn’t banter about which kind of chocolate was superior. For the first time, Barbatos believed that they could not come to an agreement. 

“You may have been born with those powers but that doesn’t mean it’s your destiny to die for me one day. Do you understand me?”

Barbatos nodded, ever so slightly. 

“It was Asmodeus,” he said after what felt like two lifetimes of silence. Diavolo’s face softened, he sighed and leaned against the backrest of the couch again. Barbatos turned his head to face the television but he did not pay attention to what was happening in the slightest. 

“Solomon was holding his soul together, barely. I couldn’t- I didn’t _think._ It wasn’t a choice, I just did it. I knew that if I could prevent the attack, I was going to do it. No matter what.”

“You’re worth just as much as the rest of us,” Diavolo said, quietly. It sounded like he was begging. 

Barbatos wished he could agree with him.

**Author's Note:**

> This text is set in the same universe as my "the fantastic three" project, "lipstick", "and time will listen" and probably most of my other stories too. So, if you haven't read those... feel free to. Or not.


End file.
